I love my children. Really, I have been able to enjoy them a lot lately. I'm noticing on the days that I'm tired, I can still make life happen--the work doesn't pile up. This because I'm not sick or pregnant. It's been lovely to spend more time with both of my children. Jube and I get along better this way. Somehow, it helps with his over all attitude and his desire to please and obey. And I can give Havilah all the hugs and squishes I want to. I guess it boils down to being able to enjoy my kiddos right now in a way that I haven't in the past. I'm very thankful and blessed by this stage of our familyhood.
Having said all that, sometimes, I just buzz. There is a certain, constant vigilance that every mother has to keep. I must know where my children are and what they're doing at all times. If I don't I'm sure to regret it. Jube will surely find a new zone to explore or Havilah will tumble. All this vigilance and constant awareness starts to make me feel like I need to get away so that that particular lobe of my brain can rest for a bit.
I was explaining to Dru the necessity for me to get a break now and then to calm my buzzing brain. I asked him if he "got" what I meant. And he did. He said he gets that way after a half hour of babysitting. This is why God made women to be moms and men to be dads.
Another interesting thing came out in that conversation with Dru. He said he tends to gage our necessity for a date based on how much talk time we've had. In other words, we get away for a date to talk. He's felt in the past that a quiet date is a little bit of a let down. It kind of dawned on him made that when I go on a date, it doesn't matter if we talk or not. What matters is that I'm away from my children for a couple hours.
That almost seems terrible to confess. But there it is and I know I'm not the only mother out there who knows what I'm talking about. It actually feels funny to say all this because I really am so much enjoying my children right now. In fact, I can buzz and be happy at the same time, now that I figured out what was going on. It took me a bit to figure it out actually. I had a few, "What is wrong with me?" days.
Anyway, I got my date with Dru today. We did some market shopping in big market today--a place to not take children. We ended up at the mall for a while because the motorbike needed a tune up and the shop is very near the mall. I got to hold Dru's hand lots and lots for about 3 hours. It was amazing. Tonight I'm not buzzing.
I'm looking forward to my day with my children tomorrow. I think maybe we'll make a cake or cookies or something fun like that. Jube will help me fold laundry and Havilah will unfold his washcloths. We'll steam carrots to eat for Havilah because she thinks they're candy. We won't feed Havilah so many grapes though, because I think they're giving her the scoots. Jube won't do the farm puzzle on the floor, like we did today, because Havilah will slip on a piece and bump her head, like she did today. Oh, I love my babies!
Lisl you did an excellent job of describing the need for a break for us moms. I needed someone to articulate this for me! So I sent the link to my husband.... :) Thanks, Amy
ReplyDeleteAt least you have your hands on them, they are constantly within your seeing range and hearing range. And you know where they are every night at bedtime. No, I'm not wishing to go back, but every now and then I get a yen to know where all our children are right now and what are they doing? And it is really hard to do, when you're all scattered globally! Remember that night on the way home from Grandma Graber's driving through a snowstorm? We were all together in the Astro and it was night time with the snow coming down so much we had to drive slowly. There we were, all in one small space. It was as if God was saying, "You'd better take note; it is about to change." Yeah well, we've grown to add three more adults, and six babies to the family. Nope, can't go back. How is that for some perspective? It goes flying by so quickly, Lisl. Savor these years as much as you possibly can.
ReplyDeleteYes, yes savor these years...but I can identify totally with the need to escape every now and again!! And yes, we can ride the whole way to Aiken...about 45 mile, and I am content to just relax! Ivan wonders why I am so quiet, and if maybe I am not enjoying my time, and I try to tell him, yes, I am relaxing!!
ReplyDelete~Dena