The other day I told Dru this about myself: “Every thing I am and love, my whole heart is on display here at this my home...” This feels so true right now.
If you’re here, you probably read my post about my fight with beauty. Since then I’ve come to the conclusion that to stifle the only talents I have available to me right now would be not only silly but wrong. I’m at home, pregnant, homeschooling two children. Juggling a one year old. It keeps me busy. What I have time for, or energy for, doesn’t really include anything that means leaving my house much. Dru takes me out on the weekends, usually. But mostly, I want to be at home. Making my home beautiful is an act of love, and in a sense, worship.
Making beauty energizes me. I’m making pretty at the risk of being misunderstood. But I’m really tired of that guilt fest. This is all I have to offer at this point. I can do it at home. I can do it in the cracks of my time. I can share it. Someday, this opportunity will pass. This stage of my life will pass. I’ll be able to reach outside of my home in different ways. But today, this is what I do. Not every day, because I am a mom—but as I can, when I’m not too busy or tired.
I wasn’t sure what Dru thought of my project at first. He wasn’t sure about the extra table set up in the living room. But he doesn’t mind, and he enjoys my happiness in it. I consult him from time to time regarding proper kerning and design. He wants to take the operation to school some day and have the kids play with it too. We’ll see. We both like the idea of giving these as gifts.
Is it perfect yet? No. I still have a lot to learn. I want the paint to dry a bit softer. I still have a lot to learn about simply making a stamp work well. I’m even learning how to deal with hemming without stretching seams as I go. I’d like to work with actual dyes, but don’t want to try that yet, especially with little people. Spilled dye in a rented house would be a nightmare! But I’m a happy amateur, content with where things are at now.
Thanks to all of you who responded to my earlier post about beauty. Marie Clare, for specifically saying to, “pencil it in.” My Mom, and others of you who encouraged me to keep creating beauty. And thank you to those of you who have found yourselves in similar positions and said, “I hear you!” and knew what I was talking about. Thank you so much.