Friday, September 24, 2010

I’m the Queen, or Not…

Today I get to be the queen. A queen on the day before her birthday, no less. It’s the day before the queen’s birthday that she looks forward to. The day after her birthday is the day that she has to go to all the high society parties in her honor and sit through endless formalities in her honor. But on the day before her birthday she gets to do what she wants, however she wants it.

I want my breakfast in bed at seven thirty on a silver tray. Served with hot garden tea out of very pretty tea things. Then I shall have a shower, no a bath in the hot tub, and then I shall get dressed in my perfectly fitting most comfortable, me-ish , clothing and go down for my interview with the housekeeper whom I will instruct to clean the whole castle from top to bottom just so-so. (She of course delegates to the servants.) Then I go to visit the cook in the huge kitchen. (On my last birthday I gave the cook the day off and cooked myself just for fun. But she made me do all the dishes then too, so I decided that this birthday I was going to do something different.) We menu plan for the week and I give her a check for a monstrous amount and say, “Buy what you need and don’t be stingy.”

I then go visit the nurse maid and my son. The nurse maid is dismissed for an hour and I spend a nice happy visit with my already bathed and fresh son.

Then I go out to the garden and find the gardener and tell him that the lawn simply must be mowed this weekend and please make sure my mother’s seeds from the kingdom across the sea get planted today. And he smiles at me fondly and says, “Yes ma’am, as you wish ma’am,” and gets busy. Because all the servants love me of course. As I stroll out to the carriage waiting for me I stop to admire the huge goldfish in the pond.

And then I go shopping. I suppose that most queens don’t go shopping like this one does. But my whole kingdom knows I enjoy shopping so they indulge me. Of course, I never allow anyone to give back any change, so they all love it when I come shopping. Today I am buying shoes. Any shoes I like and at least three pairs. And if I get tired of shoes I shall look at purses. Sometime during the day I shall bump into a good friend from olden days, or a sister, and we shall finish the trip together, complete with coffee shops and expensive dining experiences. Towards supper time I shall get in my carriage and speed home to spend prepare for my evening with the king.

And I’m not sure what the king and I shall do together but we shall enjoy ourselves immensely.

Thank you for visiting my castle.

What? You mean I have to do my own cleaning, cooking, and gardening today? And be my own nursemaid? Fine, see if I ever invite you to my castle again! Oh, and you would have to mention that it’s the king’s birthday tomorrow, not mine. Fine, I’m out of here…


  1. P.S. And that's exactly how I feel today.

  2. I read it out loud to the Queen's father and siblings which they enjoyed hugely. Laughter is the best medicine.

  3. Oh don't I identify with that feeling?!!

  4. I love you, my Queen. You can have my birthday tomorrow if you want.