Not Broken

I'm out of the shower and sit down with my lotion bottle. Havilah climbs up beside me. "Too," she says. So I put a tiny dab of lotion on her hands. 

"Like this," I say. Rubbing the lotion on my hands together. "Now the cheeks." She rubs her little cheeks vigorously. "Neck." I say. She follows. We continue the routine until she remembers that Daddy and Jube are in the next room playing a game on Daddy's cell phone. As she runs out the door I ask her, "Did you get your feet?" 

"Yeah," she says. 

It's our girl time. I didn't realize that the fun would start so soon.

Havilah's down for her nap. Jube gets Mom to himself. He likes this. "Jube, we need to do some school work." He sits down with me at the table and we learn about the soft and hard g and c. Refresher for the mom. It's matching, it's easy, it's fun. From there we practice knowing the difference between a d and a b. It's fun until we get the the last three letters to write. Then it's suddenly hard. We finish the page and then sit down on the rocking chair to practice some simple reading. 

When that's done he says,"Now I want write my own words," So he writes three words and then lapses into drawing a picture of a fisherman on a boat catching a squid. 

We hang a load of laundry together. 

"Would you like a pbj for lunch?" I ask. "Yes, I love pbjs," he says. He also loves cookies with frosting and sprinkles. 

"You can go outside now and play with water. It's warm enough." He brings me a piece of paper. I'm to make a boat for him to float in water. "It won't last long you know. But you can try it." I tell him. 

"Okay Mom, I'll get out of your hair now," he says as he goes out the door. "You weren't in my hair," I tell him, "You're mine, and I love you." 

I am very deeply happy. Happy that, as far as I know, I will be able to have more children. More blue eyes and golden hair. I'm happy that I'm not broken. Something felt very twisted and ugly about being broken that way. I'm so thankful that that is cleared up. 

Just Random.

BOTH of my children went down for a nap at the SAME time. They are still sleeping. 

Jube got up at six this morning because something in his room disturbed him. He was wet so we put him in a pull-up and put him back in bed. "It's almost morning," I told him. "Stay in bed until I tell you to get up." He promptly peeked out of the window to see that the sky was getting light. "Oh, yes it is!" He said, clearly delighted by this discovery. He promptly laid down and stayed there, but didn't go back to sleep. I decided right then and there that this child was definitely going to have a nap today. 

Havilah is grouchy in the mornings these days. I think maybe she's still fighting that flu thing. She's had diarrhea for a very long time now. Time to push the yogurt and such-like. But she should wake up happy. Afternoons are usually more happy than mornings for her. 

Today the sunshine is very shiney today and I'm doing laundry. Five loads of it and most of them large. The last one is waiting to be hung out even as I sit here. However, the racks are full so I'll wait just a bit. Just a bit might actually be long enough. Laundry dries very fast these days. Especially since I took my whole laundry dry operation outside again. It was in here over rainy season because I do not like the dance in and out of the rain to try to get it dry. I have the room and a fan--drying it inside is much easier. But my laundry needed the sunshine and breeze so out it went. My dish towels are sunning themselves on the picnic table and benches in an attempt to rid themselves of mildew stains. Those that don't get clean enough are going into the trash. Casualties of wet season. Thankful for sunshine.

This is my favorite part of the year. Rain has rained itself out and the cold season is coming on. Lovely and delicious weather. 

And now they’re awake and here are some pictures and then I must run. These are random and miscellaneous off of Dru’s cell phone.

Bubble tea at the new mall. Or drawing pictures while we wait for it, that is.

Me and my goofy Jube.

 

Dru got me out of the house and up the mountain the day after I started with my second miscarriage. 

We just drove and drove and stopped a little. He asked about getting a babysitter that day, but I told him I needed my children. I love my babies tighter these days…

Havilah poking Jube mischievously.

 

They were so happy to get out of the car for a while.

 

And these two pictures were taken at the hot springs on a different outing.

A Day to be Thankful

   

Flannel graphs, Blankets, and Toy Kitchens

The other day I let the children play with the flannel graph.

   

Frank, I finally finished this blanket. It turned out pretty good for an amateur blanket maker.

 

Arlins gave Jube this toy kitchen for his birthday. It was Isaiah and Emma's but they can't take it back to the states.

However, I think Havilah is enjoying it as least as much as Jube. After having Isaiah here all day and running around like wild people, both of them are playing with the kitchen happily now.

 

Oh, and Kayla, Isaiah left his hat here. Havilah very much likes it. I think I'll have to get her a few of her own.

Jonah and the Flowers

 

 

 

Of Life In General

I am trying to understand how I can feed my children breakfast and one hour later they think they’re hungry. So I gave them an apple. I think Jube might have finished it. Really, I think they’re bored. Yesterday Jube was asking me to come play with him. I had visions of what my Mom would have said if we had asked her to come play when she was in the middle of her work day. She has this philosophy that children should be able to entertain themselves. I would actually agree with this. So, how do you un—bored children?

Jube needs school work. How often have I said that? I think it’s going to wait until I can get back to the states and order it myself.

 

Havilah needs to understand that whining and pouting will not get her the attention she’s after. She looks and acts like her aunt Emilee. Did I spell that right? She teases like her, with that twinkle in her eyes. I used to get this weird feeling when Havilah was younger, that somehow she was really my mother-in-law’s child. Havilah also looks a lot like Miriam. I’m not sure how this is, but she doesn’t look like me. Right now she’s asking for a nap. Make that whining. Who ever heard of a child that likes naps? One thing is certain, that although I did something WRONG with training Jube to nap, I got it right with her.

They both need to figure out how to play nicely together. Jube is at least trying this morning. I think what the problem actually is is that they partied late into the night in their own room last night. Even after we had our light off, I went in to discover that they were still awake. Jube doesn’t need a lot of sleep but Havilah is quite grouchy.

 

Dru is busy. Not only that, he’s busy. On top of being very busy. I am trying to be okay with this but find that my attitude is beginning to slip up on me. He’s talking about 7 classes again next semester. He tells me that with two of the classes basically being research projects on his own time, then it won’t be so intense. I’m not easily convinced. We’ll see what happens.

 

Looks like Chiang Mai will be home for a bit longer than we had originally expected. We’re tentatively planning to stay on here to be leading up church planting. (Did I say this before?) We’re not really sure at this point what all of this means. It’s one step at a time from here on out. We make goals and plans and I’m beginning to think that it’s a dumb thing to do. So far, living here, nothing has ever happened the way it was planned. I always worry that people will think we lied to them. I think next time we go through the states, funding raising and visiting churches, we need to tell them that we really don’t know what we’re going to be doing, we just know we need prayers and money for it. Especially the prayers part.

 

Dru is out of school for three weeks in October. During that time we hope to get away as a family or couple or both and do some praying and talking “planning.” Mostly it’s about getting on the same page as each other and seek the Lord.

 

To be really honest, I’m starting to fray at the seams. When Jube gets fussy, I take him on my lap and we count blessings. Here goes.

 

Jube is happily playing with his barn and all the animals. I told him he needed an ark, not a barn, with the assortment of animals he has. He was also singing, “Sunshine and Roses,” his own version, of course. Now that Havilah is napping, he can play in peace. I’m happy with him for this.

The children have both taken an interest in singing and Jube is now able to carry a tune. Took him a while.

 

This week I’ve taken to spending Bible story, prayer, and verse time each morning with the kids. They like it and I do to. Yes, I should have been doing this earlier.

 

I think I might actually get most of the laundry through today. It’s been a battle the last week or two. Lots of rain and when the air is so damp it’s hard to get them dry, even inside.

 

Charlie and Lola. My children love them. Look it up. So far, it’s been clean and safe. There is one Halloween story, or is it two, that we avoid. Not because it’s scary, but because we feel that Halloween is a glorification of evil and we don’t want anything to do with it. Although there has been snatches of evolution, those are teachable moments for us. I’d love to get my hands on the original story books one day.

 

When I was a little girl, I remember Grandma Ruth letting us help her make hot pads. It was easier in those days. Grandma did the hard work. But I had fun one day making these. They aren’t perfect, but I think they’re pretty. I have one more set to make and then I’m going to pitch the old ones altogether.

I’m not sure which aunt or uncle was involved in sending Jube his dragon. He loves it. It goes to bed with him and he plays with it throughout the day—unless he happens to be lazy and has an accident and doesn’t get to the potty… This, is very sad. And quite effective. Today the dragon is on the shelf in my room because when he was romping with Havilah before he went to sleep last night, he really had to poo…and he tried to hold it in…and I won’t give you all the details. But he is being very careful today so he can have it back to go to bed tonight. So thankful for this incentive.  (Since when is that spelled with a c?) I did have to fix the dragon’s wings. For the longest time the shimmery right wing was ripped. I found fabric at the market and fixed it. Jube was very tickled. I was afraid he would be unhappy because it wasn’t exactly the same as before.

 

Dru and I got to go to IGo chapel for church last Sunday. It was nice, but also felt a little weird. I felt out of place. But Collier preached a good sermon about—well, was it faith our casting down imaginations? I’m on a faith journey right now, so that’s where it struck me.

 

I told Jube he needed to send his airplane driver to jail for driving carelessly through his barnyard. I see that Jube put him his empty apple bowl. About the time that I worry he doesn’t have the imagination necessary to play with toys like other normal children, then he gets creative. There is Lego on the floor now too. He’s such a book worm, artist kind of kid, he can be hard to keep happy sometimes.

So, those are my blessings, actually only a few of them. And now I have a question.

 

Over the past year I have discovered that I have a lot of interests outside of raising a family. I love my man and children dearly, and they’ll always come first. Yet, what do I do with my interest in wanting to learn to truly cook, wanting a medical degree of some sort, archeology, teaching, and creating beauty on a larger scale? Did I mention all of them?  I know that some of these things will happen even as I have my children. I can’t wait until Havilah is old enough to talk about pretty with. Jube and I made brownies together—me trying to help him do most of it—maybe he’ll be the chef?

 

You know, when it comes right down to it, I don’t feel like the worlds best missionary. But I know that the Lord is at work in me and it’s been good to grow and be regrounded lately. (Regrounded is a word, I just made it.) I was such an innocent school girl when I got married. I wasn’t naive, not with the mother God gave me. For this I am very thankful. Now though, I keep seeing how big and wicked this world really is, and I can get scared if I think too hard. But then I come around to remember that the promises of God will stand forever, regardless of what else happens. God will still be who He says is—and I can still live in victory, because of Him. And He will continue, and finish His work in me, regardless—He’s just that good.

Rain and Stuff

I don’t mind the rain…it’s just that it’s making me lazy. I started my day with intentions to sew and I’ve lost my inspiration after running out of white thread (what a dumb thing to run out of) and then Dru came home and that was the end of it. I should fold some (mostly dry) laundry. Most of the time I don’t miss not having a clothes dryer. Right now it would be nice. And I could do some vacuuming. So I do have stuff to do.

Jube is doing preschool work. Jube style. I need to supervise him better. That child needs some learning to read curriculum. I should order some soon, but I also need to find a ride for it, so that might not happen as soon as it could otherwise. He’s officially potty trained except still wearing pull ups at night. It finally clicked. I had a discussion with him one day about how he was letting this run his life and boss him around. He needed to be the boss and decide when and where it could come out. That seemed to click. I don’t know if I should have started potty training earlier with him or later…but I’m glad it’s over now.

Havilah decided to quit moaning because I won’t let her sit in my lap. She found a train to play with.

Dru is back at school, suffering through his second exam for the day. I say suffering because he woke up this morning and his stomach was in knots. He’s feeling some better now but I suspect he’ll come home and crash. Probably sleep it off, though he threatened to watch a movie with the kids. I hope he relaxes, whatever he does. It’s been a crammed full weekend with writing two term papers and then there are mid terms today. Two more on Friday and then he’s done with midterms. He says he things the semester was top heavy—or in other words, the last half of term won’t be as demanding as far as papers to write, etc. I hope this is true.

This is what my son drew on the sheets in the guest bedroom. I didn’t notice the other whale on one of my favorite pillow cases until later.

Jube discovered what happens when you put vinegar and baking soda together.

They put a new mall in down the road from us. It is really quite lovely and we’ll try not to spend too much time there. I’m turning into a city kid.

We babysat for Arlin’s the other day. It was so fun. When they came back, we ate supper together. Kayla and I ran to the market for mushrooms and got soaked on the way home. Rain. That’s why she’s wearing my dress. Then we played rook, talked, and laughed, late into the night. (We had the children in bed.) They ended up spending the night…We all had a lovely time.

Havilah kissed the frog, several times. But nothing happened—yet.

 

And I just found these pics on my computer. They’re from Rachel Zupke’s camera. You could come back some day Rachel!

Sorry about the tiny pictures…I’m having Live Writer problems.