My Son

Is anyone tired of Jube pictures yet? Jube discovered pomegranates while Jessica was here. He thinks they're candy. He's a little goofy but we love him.

Back to Normal

Whatever that may be. Jessica was here for almost 3 weeks and I can’t believe the time few by so quickly. It was wonderful to have our first visitor from the other side of the world here finally. Believe it or not, I still even know how to do dishes—I’ve done them once so far today. Jessica did most of them while she was here, bless her heart.

I’m going to show you a bunch of pictures of our last month or so and let you get an idea of what’s going on in our lives.

We were at the mall with Mae Wahn about a month ago when Dru got Havilah to giggle. Dru said, “Look, she’s laughing,” but at first Mae Wahn didn’t believe him—apparently thinking she was too little. But then Mae Wahn realized that she really was laughing and had to have her turn.

My beautiful little girl.

Jube reading a story to “Hadeelah.” He really does love her. One day when Jessica and I were out he cried for Havilah. I had taken her with me. And Havilah will sit in her chair or on the bean bag and watch him run around the house. So far they get along pretty wonderfully.

Jessica brought a whole suitcase full of stuff from Dru’s parents. When I went to unzip it , the zipper kept getting caught on something soft and fuzzy. It was this big puppy dog.

Jube decided to see if he’d fit in his high chair.

One morning when Pii Ang was over, Jube dug out the floor puzzle and insisted that Pii Ang and Jessica help him put it together.

I asked my mom to send me a tractor for Jube. My dad took the project over and sent this tractor. He uses his tractor from Grandpa daily, inside and out of the house. He’d take it into the bathtub with him if I’d let him. Here he’s hauling a small stuffed puppy.

Jessica rented a motorbike about right away when she got here. I’m so glad she did. She was able to get out and about when I had to stay at home and be a mom. Maybe you wouldn’t guess that our quiet Jessica is scared of nothing—but I really don’t think she is. Only she did say that my driving scared her a little. That’s okay. It scares me a lot. I was not meant to drive a car, manual shift, in the city. Such things scare the livin’ daylights out of me, so to speak.

The men having their morning coffee, only Jube has hot chocolate, while Havilah looks on.

Breakfast outside. I wish Jessica were on this picture, but I think she was still on her way out. Dru thought maybe Jessica would get tired of pancakes but she said she wasn’t tired of them and this was the last time we had them when she was here.

A lot of our meals are happening on the lawn these days. Although Jessica might tell you differently, it is quite cool here anymore. It does warm up a bit in the afternoons, although it’s bearable. (Jessica thought that it was a bit hot at times but I assured her that it was quite nice weather actually.)

BuBbLeS…..

Jessica told us that she wanted to be sure to ride an elephant while she was here. So last Saturday we went to the Elephant Camp.

May I scratch your nose, oh noble beast? (This picture cracks me up.)

Jube loved seeing the elephants. He was nervous and trembling all over but he wanted to feed them.

I guess this was about how Jube would have perceived these large animals. Mostly nose and all big, bigness.

A rather poor family picture.

By the time we got to riding the elephant, Jube had lost all fear. The ride took us up and down a few steep places on the trail. As the elephant went down I felt like I was having to hang on for dear life to keep from sliding out under the bar across our laps. But it seemed to be of no concern to Jube.

Just being cheesy.

Making friends, waiting for the elephant show to start.

Jube’s face while the show was going on.

Jube found this cat laying on the path/road here and stopped to visit for a bit. Every now and then something Jube will do will attract all kinds of attention. For a while he was petting the kitty—totally oblivious to everyone crowded around with cameras. It was between six and ten women cooing and oohing over him at one point.

On Thursday morning Jessica, Havilah, and I headed over to the Lady’s Meeting. Afterwards we left Havilah at Mae Wahn’s for an hour and went to the pottery shop and then picked up some lunch and cold coffee and then came back to Mae Wahn’s house to eat. We had a very nice time. But Mae Wahn was sad that she hadn’t been able to spend much time with Jessica and Jessica was soon to leave. So that night she came to our house and from there we went up the mountain together. Afterwards we came to Swensen’s at Big C. These are Swensen pictures. Jessica and Mae Wahn were both glad they could spend more time together.

My crazy men.

Because of the flooding in Bangkok, a lot of places are running low on stuff. Swensen’s was out of hot fudge, caramel, and almonds…what else is there to eat with ice cream? So we settled for this and five spoons. It has marshmallow and blue berry topping instead—along with whipped cream and cherries.

On Friday night I drove Jessica to the airport. It was a scary experience for both of us, but we made it. After I bid her goodbye, Dru and I decided to meet at the mall. We picked up Dru’s violin finally.

I didn’t realize it at the time, but Dru had had IGo people, who’d come over for Engilsh Classes that night, drop him off at the mall so he could drive me home. I thought he’d driven his bike over. I was SO glad I didn’t have to drive again. My nerves were about shot. It has been good for me to have to drive, but I won’t if I don’t have to.

This morning Dru tuned it up. He handed it to me to try at one point. Mostly all I could get out of it was tremendous and disturbing squawking sounds. Jube said, “Please stop, Mom. It too noisy.”

This is My Beloved. He wasn’t too bad for not having played for five years.

Today Jube has gone outside twice to see if “Jeckicka” has come home, in spite of us telling him that she’s gone bye-bye and won’t come back for a long time. Miss you, Jessica!

Jessica's Here!

I've really been enjoying having Jessica Rempel here. She'll be here for another nearly two weeks. In a hurry so won't post much now but go check out our flowers on her blog.

My Man

 

Lately I’ve been reminded of how amazing my man is. Thankful that he’s big enough, by the grace of God, to do the hard stuff he has to do right now. I’m proud of him for being kind, even when it would be easy not to be. I’m proud of him for being always gentle. I’m so thankful that he never gets angry. He’s brave and strong. He’s mine.

I still don’t know why God put us together. I only know that it was without a doubt in my mind God’s purpose and plan for my life to be married to him. And at times like these, where I see him handle the load on his shoulders with such wisdom and gentleness, that I realize how blessed I am. I only hope and pray that I can be the woman God meant for me to be in his life.

We’ve updated his wardrobe lately. He was running out of clothes that a man of his station could wear respectably. I’ve been trying to make sure that when he walks out of the house, his clothes are ironed and clean and his hair is combed.

So tonight before he took us all to the mall, I ironed his shirt and combed his rather bushy hair. I thought he was rather good looking. He sat at a coffee shop to work so that Jessica and I could go shopping. After about an hour and a half, he took Jube and had some Daddy-son time so that us girls could shop more peacefully. Then the dear man took me to one of my favorite places to eat, The Pizza Company.

We were waiting for our order to come when he asked me, “Lisl, would you say that I’m a good looking man?”

“Yes.”

“Would you say that I’m an exceptionally good looking man?” he asked as he fished around in his pocket.

“Yes,” again. He handed me a receipt with a phone number written across the back of it. The hand writing was quite bold.

“The waitress at the coffee shop handed this to me. Another costumer asked her to deliver it for her.”

I ripped the number up and it remained on the plate with my dirty napkin when we left Pizza Company. Needless to say, Dru will not be making contact with that woman.

This world is a messed up place. My man has enough to worry about already without women like this, dumb adds, bad billboards, surprise junk on the internet, etc.

Perhaps there should be something in me that says, “Ah ha! I knew my man was a keeper!” But really, this irritates me. The nerve! If a woman ever threatens my relationship with my man for real, I pity her. I will fight tooth and nail to keep the man that God has for me. I will do everything within my power, everything short of not being Christian (and some might say I might even push that), to keep him. So put that in your pipe and smoke it. He’s mine.

Black and White

I see the world in black and white. You think it's hard to have no grey areas? Well, even color is interpreted, in my mind, by black or white.

Things are either good or bad. There is no middle ground in my mind.

When I read the Bible it either says something or it doesn't. And it means what it says. You don't dismiss something as cultural. Neither do you read more into what's there than there is.

You are probably either good or bad in my mind. Which is hard for me because I'm a very loyal friend. When you disagree with me on an area that I see as black when you see it as white, or some other color, I really have to process that for a while. But I still love you--which makes it harder.

I struggle to understand the many stripes of Christianity that abound in this world. I'm quite sure that this isn't the way God intended for it to be. If everyone would just see the world like I do, than this wouldn't be a problem. We'd all interpret Scripture the same, the right way, of course.

I dislike this about myself--this seeing of things in black and white. Yet, I cannot change it. At at the same time I think I'm learning to be merciful. I have my husband to thank for that.

And I'm thankful for the grace of God. I'm sure that, because of the sovereignty of God, the grace of God is all the colors of the rainbow. And while I'm still not at liberty to excuse that which is so wrong in my mind, God is big enough to see the hearts and intentions of those around me. I'm thankful for his mercy--both for my colorblindness, and for people the world over who so desperately need, not for me to be judging, but for me to be loving--even when I cannot hope to understand them.

And I fear that this post will be hard for some of you to understand, unless, of course, you too see the world in black and white.

Quick Update

Life is going on here. I'm happier now. Back up from the crash of last blog post. We have a few more answers and more direction. Keep praying though.

Jube is happy and healthy. The last while he's been daily reminding me to give him his vitamins, and maybe it's my imagination, but I think he feels weller and behaves weller. He's discovered how to use his tractor book from Papa and Nanna. I had to tell him to keep Farmer Dray inside--he wanted to take him out to cut trees down. He likes Farmer Dray's chainsaw. I can't wait to take him home so that he can see my dad's woods machinery. I might just pull up some videos on You Tube for him to watch before that though. All things machinery are of interest to him. His vocabulary is growing. Usually we can even understand him although he doesn't pronounce his "f" or his "s" yet.

Havilah is sweet and smiley, smiley. So fun. No longer can she lay on the table for her nap. She's discovered how to roll over. I really do think she's about a month ahead of Jube on that, and the smiling thing. And she's chubby! We love her bunches.

Dru's got tests to create and then give on Friday night, then there's an break in English teaching for a month. Yippee!!! He'll use the "extra" time for continuing to make his curriculum better and fill in some gaps. Also will be nice to have this time to do more thinking and praying for our future here.

And now I need to go get my supper made and dishes done by the time my men get home for the evening. Jube went with Dru for English classes tonight. I always wonder if I should send him but I think it's good. Dru likes to take him with him and Jube loves it. So I send him and cover him in prayer. I'm generally a very paranoid mom, but I'm learning to balance it with prayer--at least in this area.

Tonight we have cell group at our house. I always enjoy this part of our lives. We're going to miss our cell group when the time comes to part ways!!

God bless you all!

I Crashed

So, after being able to cope so well for the last month as decisions to be made kept piling up and stress levels began to rise, I crashed on Friday. The peace I'd had suddenly turned into an awful heaviness. Perhaps it was because the real stuff started--that is, the tangible conflict. Rubber began to hit the road, so to speak.

I realized that we were on the verge of moving on, yet, so far in my existence in Thailand, I have done, what feels like nothing outside of being a wife and mom. And I know, that is enough--or supposed to be. It was enough because it was all I could do and as long as I chose to rest in the fact that I was where God had me, I was okay. Sure, the perceived and also real pressures and expectations of others did wear on me from time to time, but for the most part, I was fine. Yet, Friday, what I wasn't able to do hit me all over again.

Language barrier is still huge for me. I really am not even very able to operate in simple conversation right now. I've lost a little. I understand more than I speak, which can be frustrating. So really, I feel like I've been able to offer so little of myself to those around me. I know the faces at church, but I have never been able to speak into their lives. This hurts.

I told Dru that in spite of all we're told about women being made to be wives and mothers and finding their fulfillment therein, I still find with in me a longing to reach outside of my family as well. I want to give. I want to be a good hostess. I want to share. And as I long to be this kind of woman, my limitations frustrate me.

I am no super woman. When I work too hard, I get sick. If I'm on my feet too much, my feet cry out for mercy. I have to have a nap everyday because I'm a nursing mother. (I remember my mom telling me before I had children that nursing a baby makes you tired. It does!) But I hate taking naps. They're a dreadful waste of time. Right now the pinched nerve in my hip area is flaring up again. We're threatening to take me to the chiropractor.

So, being under the stress of our circumstances right now, along with wishing I could DO more, and being sad and frustrated by the isolation cause by the language barrier--well, like I said, it all came crashing in. So now I'm just hanging on and trying not to think about it.

I spent a pretty penny yesterday and bought myself the necessary cutting tool and mat for cutting out comforter blocks. The little bit I was able to do with it was more fun than a barrel of monkeys. I intend to cut all of my fabric scraps into squares and sew them together again. Then I shall get batting and back fabric and make them all into comforters for people less fortunate than I. This I can do without knowing how to speak Thai.

As far as our "present circumstances," I don't know how much to say at this point other than that we've run into a serious disagreement with Pastor Kiat concerning divorce and remarriage beliefs and it seems that in order to keep peace, we will need to move on soon. Where and to what we know not. We still love the people here, and the going will be hard. We intend to leave without creating "a stink," but it's requiring much wisdom. It's hard, painful work being the salt of the earth. Keep us in your prayers.