The children are playing happily. Havilah just woke up from her nap. Jube is ready for his. I don’t have the heart to interrupt and put him down.
I just found myself in a complicated situation again. Dew came over and wanted to take Jube to her house for 10 min. to take pictures with him. I said no, even when her mom came down and asked too. (Her mom came down in search of her.) Havilah was sleeping and I didn’t want to wake her to go with them. When we first moved her I just had a bad feeling about Jube going to Dew’s alone. One of those, I can’t describe it but it feels bad in my bones, types of feeling. I still don’t feel real good about it and we’ve just decided that as policy, Jube doesn’t go to the neighbors alone. Anyway, I’m feeling bad for being such a worry wart but not feeling good about changing policy at this point. He’s only two! We haven’t been able to teach him all of the, “We don’t do this because we’re Christians and we love Jesus,” things. And what about his physical and moral safety? Every time this comes up again, I end up feeling bad, but not at all willing to “fix” it. Any input on this would be welcome.
Today I’m keeping my life pretty low key. I worked too hard the last few days and although it feels nice to have a cleanish house, it’s time to take it easy for a day. So I want to pot the flowers my man bought me last night and make a nice supper and do dishes, but that’s it. Oh, and I’d like to bake up the cookie dough in the fridge and take it down to Pii Phone and Nong Dew’s. It’s time to do that again and today would be a good day to reaffirm our friendship with them, considering previous events.
New Year’s resolutions are to learn the faithful loving kindness of the Lord. Not sure how to explain this one other than to say that right now I’m struggling with understanding how God can be just and also loving and I have concluded I don’t understand God’s love as I aught. This conclusion comes also because of the lack of faith I have in God in my personal life as it relates to family. So maybe I just want to grow in faith, but really, it’s more than that—it’s about trusting God’s love for me and my family in a personal way.
Also working on being more consistent about keeping caught up around here. Reading Amy’s blog on her resolution sounded scary close to my own. For me though, it’s taking care of things when I notice them. Not procrastinating. It makes a huge difference for me.
Oh, and another one. I want to give my man more back rubs and listen to the sound of his voice more. Maybe you could just say, I want to be sure to enjoy him. I get so busy with kids….you all know that story too.
Again, Happy New Year!
I am right there with you momma! I too feel uncomfortable sometimes when my little 2 year old is over at the neighbors. My mommy instinct kicks in and the vibes I get are uncomfortable. It is okay to say NO! Our kids need limits and we have to protect them in every way we can! You are an awesome momma! Love your little family!
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't let my 2 yr. old go to any of my neighbors, unless they were church people or family that I trusted. So I'm not sure why it has to be a different policy just because you are living in a different culture. We need to trust our mothering instincts; we are given them for a reason. Just my two cents. :)
ReplyDeleteYour paragraph about learning the faithful loving kindness of the Lord has been my own feelings as well. The last 4 years have really taken it's toll on this in my life. God says if you search you'll find. I hope it's true. And he also says that he loves a broken and contrite spirit. I hope that's true as well. I'm counting on it.
ReplyDeleteYes, do what you know and stick to it. You'll never be sorry. Being the odd one in the crowd won't hurt you or the child. Actually it's good practice for bigger things down the road. Go ahead, be THE MOM!
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