In which I announce that I am still with the living.

In the last ten months I have:

1. Gotten pregnant. This after two miscarriages in the previous year. I got sick and felt a lot more positive about keeping this baby seeing as I was actually sick for a change.

2. Packed to go to the States--which involved prepping my house for sub-letters. This is always kind of an ordeal because we have to pack personal belongings away and have the house clean in all the corners. I was morning sick but didn't have time to be, so I took care of myself and pushed through. And we had help from friends.

3. Lived in the States for five and half months. It was going to be a bit longer than this but when we bought the tickets we didn't realize that I was pregnant. However, if we had the baby in the States, it would have stretched out our time there to much longer than we were willing to stay. It was a lovely time spent well with friends and loved ones.

4. Took a 3 week road trip (while being 7 mo. pregnant).  This was not easy for me until we were actually on the way. I think that this trip was the hardest thing in all of our business for me to accept. But Dru took good care of me and it ended up going really well.

5. Survived a car accident--okay, a bad fender bender. This was our on-the-way-to-the-airport nightmare. And although no one was hurt, we were both jumpy and more traumatized by it than we realized until we started driving over here a few days later.

6. Flown internationally, again. (Think 34 weeks pregnant.) And they almost didn't let me on the plane once we finally did get to the airport in the nick of time. Dr. Dunlap, bless her heart, emailed a letter to the proper address with an updated date on it, and we were good to go--in the nick of time.

7. Moved out of my lovely old house to a town house that is much newer and lovely in other ways. Here's where I say that Dru's sister, Hannah is with us for 6 months and the two of them did most of the work with that. I was beat after all the drama of the last 8 months and was game to be moved before the baby came, but had no energy for it.

8. Given birth to a 8 and a half pound little boy. People have this way of asking this awkward question. "How did it go?" It was awful. But it's over and he's here now. And then the other awkward question, "How's recovery for you." Slow. Much slower than I'm used to. But I'm better now than I was. Please, nobody ask, "Was it worth it?" I don't even know where to go with that question. I love my son to pieces, but that has absolutely nothing to do with excruciating pain for hours.

In all of this I want to say that Dru has been the most amazing and enabling man I could ask for. Yes, there were times where I broke down and said I wasn't sure if I could do all this travel stuff. But as we went, day by day, he took care of me. Fed me well. Excused me from being everywhere he was all the time. Let me have my space and rest.

I enjoyed my crazy 10 months. It was the best pregnancy I've ever had. Fancy that! I didn't have time to think much about how I felt. And I had lots of good old American food. And I had my mom. And I had my brother's lovely house to live in while we were in the States. God took good care of me too.

So I'm back. I think. I haven't even been journalling much. I guess I lost time and inspiration for writing for a while. But I'm back now. I hope that's a good thing.

Praying it through.

Sometimes, you just have to pray. You have to stop and give to God something that you thought should be within your power. Something that you thought was your responsibility. You stop and just say, “God, I’ve been trying to get this thing right now for two years. For two years I’ve trained and taught and line upon lined, precept upon precepted. And this is where I’m at God. Only You can change a heart.”

One by one the formulas go out the window. I ask for wisdom. I try something new. I work and pray at it. I work through my anger—giving that to God, realizing that this anger is not from God, it’s just thrown in there by the devil to muddy the already difficult water. I take away privileges, I take away sweets, but nothing works for the long term. About the time I think we’ve got this thing, it all comes crashing in again. I realize I can not do this thing.

He is four years old. He is my first born son. And I love him. So today, I washed out his shorts one more time. One more time he tried to hold it in because  he was having too much fun to stop. One more time I could see in his eyes, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that this child was guilty. Once again, he knew when and where it happened—what he was doing when he realized he needed to go, but was having to much fun to stop.

When he’s cleaned up I just take him on my lap and I pray. I ask God to change his heart. I ask God to protect him. I tell God I’ve done my best and I’m committing my son to Him. It’s all that’s left to do.

It’s a helpless feeling. It’s a safe feeling.

This week there will be more line upon line, precept upon precept. I’m going to pray harder. I’m going involve him better in my daily activities. I’m going to keep closer tabs on him, if that’s possible. I’m going to love him. I’m going to discipline him as usual. Because everything is coming hard for this kid these days. Obedience, attitudes,all of it. And I think it’s coming. But only God can change his heart.

And God will. Someday, this will pass. Someday this stubbornness will be changed into a fervent and undying love for the Lord. The hardness will be softened. He will find what it takes to be a man of God. He will find Jesus for himself.

This is the goal. I’m not sitting around holding my breath, wondering if this boy will grow up to love Jesus. Loving Jesus is what he was created to do. We’re going to walk this thing out with lots and prayer and obedience. We’re on God’s team around here. This is all we have and it’s far more than enough. 

I took my camera outside this morning.

This is what I came up with.

 

 

  Chubby feet.

Havilah and the “Buppy-Duppy.” She loves this dog. It wouldn’t be so bad, but the dog loves her. And she’s not ours…Thankfully, we’ll be going back to the States about the same time she goes home to real owners.

 

Popping Peanuts

Did you know that when you roast peanuts, they crackle and pop for a while as they cool down? My children are intrigued.

“But there’s nothing happening inside of them when you open them!” Jube explains to Havilah.
Yesterday Jube had a friend over all afternoon and into the evening. She was with her parents who were working on laying tile for our neighbor lady.

By the time she had to go home around seven o’clock they had puzzles, games, and toys all over the dinning room floor. But they sure had fun!

Lucy

Little Update

Right now the children are out playing with Lucy. Lucy, if I haven’t said already, is a dog belonging to friends who are unable to keep her right now. We will have to give her back as soon as they are able to move into their next residence—one more suitable to pets. For now, the children are falling in love with Lucy and I pointed out to Dru the other day that Jube hasn’t played with snails since Lucy came. Havilah, though terrified for the first week, is no longer scared at all and goes out on her own to play with Lucy. Both children play outside a lot more these days. Once we get back from the States in about 8 to 10 months, we’ll have to get our own pet. Not sure what that will be because we aren’t sure where we’ll be living at that point.

I don’t relish the thought of moving. We love it here. I’ve come to peace again about living in an old house. The hardwood flooring does come up in places, the bathrooms are hard to clean, and the windows old and cantankerous. But this has been home—the only home either one of my children remember. However, there are ministry reasons for which we may be moving back over to the other side of town. If we do move, I hope for a much smaller house, easy to clean, and easier maintenance. Perhaps that’s only because I’m lazy. What I’m telling myself and other people though is that I’d like  smaller house because I want to be able to put more time in to ministry and language study. Homeschooling my babies in earnest will be starting soon. Jube needs to learn to read. Jube needs to study Thai. Less house upkeep with give more time for these things.

Both of my children can speak and understand some Thai. The communicate well enough with Mae Wahn. However, it’s not where it should be and I’m a little worried about our sabbatical time in the States. How much will they lose? I’ve decided that I’m going to start digging out Thai movies for them. Movies that we’ve watched in English and enjoy as a family. Have them watch these in Thai. This will be good especially for Jube. We can do this even in Wisconsin, if I can be on the ball and remember to pack what we’ve got. Jube is going to fuss some, he’d rather watch in English, but it’s okay. I also want to prep some kind of flash cards and games before we leave, so I have something to take back with us to study. I really want us all to be speaking fluent Thai one day. Myself included. This is home. These are our people. This is our language. 

Hubby dear is up to his nose in homework. I’m so thankful for a good man who is still present with us when he has to work so hard. He’s staying on top just barely and he really is still happy. So, although snowed under, he’s weathering the blizzard well, so we all are. I am so proud of him. Keep him in your prayers. He’s got about six weeks of hard work ahead of him. Then we will all praise the Lord that most of it’s over and that we lived through it. Pray specifically for those 2 big research projects.

Now my children are inside and so I’m going to get up and get some work done. Have a happy day.

Try, Try Again.

I tried to post a while ago. Dru was helping me with pictures. We both left the computer for something different and when we came back everything was gone. That was rather disheartening. Now I have mustered the courage to begin again.

    

Does this picture show up twisted slightly? I thought so. Live Writer has been doing that to me lately some. This is the only picture we have of opening family presents.

Gifts from Arlin’s. So fun.

 

My table on the day after Christmas.

 

We visited an Art Museum on New Year’s Day. The night before we’d had a lovely evening with our Thai church. Since it was New Year’s, Mae Wahn spent the night rather than brave the dangerous roads to go home. Driving around New Year’s can be hazardous in this city. The next morning she had received word that a relative had been killed in a car accident and she needed to attend the funeral.

However, we spent the morning lingering over our coffee, playing with the dog, and chatting. Before she left she urged us to go do something fun. So we went to the Art Museum. It was lots of fun. We wished that Jube would have been in a more cooperative mood for pictures, but we still managed to get a few of him. Havilah got right into the spirit of things.

In the end, the shark didn’t eat her.

And the octopus didn’t eat him either.

Share a soda with a polar bear. Just because.

Leave over water falls.

The proper way to kiss a panda bear, demonstrated here by me for Jube.

Ride on a boat.

Havilah and I execute a dangerous crossing.

Right in the middle of things, where I try to keep him.

Here, froggy.

Never run out again.

 

This was probably the very best one. Stuck in an hour glass.

Our angel.

Beware the dinosaur behind you. I was a little frustrated with the lighting on this picture…not ver convincing.

Jube was fascinated by this room full of dinosaurs, however, still in no mood to pose.

Dru went snowboarding bare foot.

And then we were ready to go, only to see that Havilah also wanted to snowboard for a bit.

And this is the end of this quick photo post. Have a Happy New Year!