Did you know that summer SAD is a thing? I was explaining to my man how sluggish I feel and how I struggle with just getting anything done, and watching too many movies and documentaries, because I simply can't think anyway. Furthermore, it seems as though I have to think to accomplish very simple tasks. "Hand, move this object from this space to that space. Feet, walk. I will now move this item to make space for other item." This is only slightly exaggerated, I think.
The heat is intense and creeps into my house uninvited. We hide away in our air conditioned rooms like refugees from other parts of the house. Meanwhile, the voracious ants take over those other parts of the house. We squish them. We wipe them up in our dish rags. We spray them. Yet, they are winning. They march in from the tiniest cracks and devour any protein that is left laying about, be it the smallest crumb. THEY BITE MY BABY IF HE HAPPENS IN THEIR WAY.
Being a true woman, I struggle with guilt about these things. Because school doesn't happen as I want it to, in all of this fog. The toys scattered all about don't get picked up. Crumbs lay on the floor and the ants come.
But, I have a plan. I have a some verses. I have three air conditioned rooms. And the rain will come soon. Meanwhile, I shall take control of my own brain again, if it is at all possible.
So Teresa, when you asked me this morning if I was doing well, well, yes I am. My children are getting better and the only thing wrong with me is my brain. I have much to be thankful for, I just need to guide my brain to it. And Katrina, when I wanted to know, begged you to tell me, that you were warm, it is because I am desperately wondering if I am the only woman dealing with this. However, even if I am it doesn’t make it any less real to me.
I am thankful tonight for a good man. Good meaning more patient with me than I am with myself.