I’ve decided that the best way to deal with the mom guilt things is to simply admit that I’m a bad mom and then let the grace of God fill in the gaps. That’s not a cop-out because I’m not copping out. I’m doing a lot more praying about little things again. I’m quicker to notice when Jube’s too lazy to obey. But there are still gaps.
My mom and dad raised 7 kids who are walking with Jesus. I know they made mistakes. Mistakes that I hope by the grace of God to avoid. But I’m sure that when I’m 50 and telling my mom about my journey raising my children and confessing my shortcomings, she’s going to smile and say, "Oh, I could have told you not to do that". So I’ve decided that if I can raise children who want to follow and love Jesus, then whether or not my children would go down for naps at 12:30 sharp when they were toddlers, really doesn’t matter in the large scheme of things.
That being said, I’m struggling again with knowing how to settle them at nap time. Havilah goes to sleep easily in my arms on the rocking chair. I used to walk Jube up and down until he fell asleep—when he was her age, that is. But I decided that I would
not do that for another baby. So I taught Havilah to go to sleep in my arms within five minutes. I don’t let her wiggle, and soon enough, she’s asleep. But she wants to sleep for 45 minutes and then wake up. This isn’t enough sleep for her. So far, I’ve nursed her back to sleep laying beside her. I haven’t really taken the problem in hand. But I’m trying to figure out what’s reasonable for a seven-month old.
Jube will lay in bed and turn and toss for 2 hours before going to sleep. If I really want him to go to sleep, I go lay beside him. He will go for a week or two, or maybe even more, and just fall asleep like a sweet angel, but then he has these spells….So how do you get a kid to stay still and sleep? I have noticed that if I’m consistently getting him to bed by 8:00, then he goes to sleep easier for naptime. But, come a busy, crazy week, I can’t always count on being able to get him down for his early bedtime. And naptime starts being a struggle.
Clark blogged about reality. Reality is that I can’t always get Jube in bed on time. So then what?
I think this whole bedtime thing has been one of my greatest ongoing motherhood struggles. But I hear say that eventually, children grow out of nap times. So this too shall pass. And by the way, I think I’ve tried it ALL when it comes to putting Jube down for a nap. I seriously doubt if the whole, “Johnny go lay down and take your nap,” and then the child submissively does so, is a totally honest picture of reality.
That being said, the children a now, finally, asleep so here I am blogging. And drinking coffee. I remember the day, I was in my late teens, when my mom said, “Lisl, you're old enough now to drink a cup of coffee and go on with life.” I was complaining about being tired. It was a new thought to me so it stuck. I think of that often now. I still struggle with it like an adolescent who’d much rather go take a nap. I also get sick of taking naps and wasting valuable time. I’m not a good enough Skrivseth to be able to drink coffee without consequences. I have to drink with care, considering what food is in my system, lest I end up worse than I began. Somewhere there’s a balance between naps and coffee, but often it too, gets lost in reality of necessity--or will-power.
King Bhumibol fell down, and so did President Obama. We’re struggling to know how to keep things hanging on our cement wall. Adhesive hooks don’t work very well. I have for a very long time been rather unimpressed with conservative people who refuse to vote yet are very deeply involved in politics when it comes to having strong opinions and words. We should speak respectfully of our President regardless of his policies. I’m having an increased amount of respect for the people of Thailand who honor their king with a passion. Granted, they may take it too far. But some of us would do well to listen up. Below where the picture of Obama used to hang and beside where the king used to be, we have 1 Timothy 2:1-3. Go look it up. I had asked Dru a couple of days ago if we should just take the whole collage down. He said no, it was a good reminder now while the Republican’s are trying to find a candidate in the US of A. So, like good home schoolers, we now have a picture of our president on display in our home. (Have you ever noticed how most non-homeschooled people talk about HOME-schoolers, while those who are home schooled referred to themselves as home-SCHOOLers? Dru was home-SCHOOLed, but I was only HOME-schooled for most of my high school years.) There, enough of that random tidbit.
I nearly killed my big beautiful begonia. I liked it very much because it reminds me of Grandma Graber. I overwatered him as I suspected—I checked the care of begonias on line, but only after I nearly killed the dear fellow. Today, I dug him out and hope his roots dry out and he revives. Begonias don’t like as much water as impatiens, I guess. Lesson learned. As a general rule, plants die if I touch them. But it’s fun trying and I do believe I’m learning something, even if I’m a slow student. The mango tree didn’t die although I was skeptical. I watered and watered and watered it. Now he’s blooming. If it makes as many mangos as it has blooms, it might bend and break branches off of itself. Alas, we shall not be here to witness this and I hope the Lively’s, who will live in our house while we’re gone, enjoy them. About the begonia, if this one dies, I shall replace him. I was growing fond of him. Dru brought him home to me one day a long with a bunch of other plants. They’re very cheap here, so I like to think that Thailand is a good place to develop my green thumb.
Okay, now that you have endured these rambles, here are some pictures. Wait, no. The pictures will have to wait. Havilah is up and pulling at my skirt. Maybe pictures tomorrow? No promises, but I do have some to blog.
Now did my blabbering blog bore you?
PS I shall post this and hope that Dru is kind enough to edit my mistakes when he reads it. I can’t edit something very well right after it’s written, but if I don’t publish now, it may never be published—which might not be such a great loss after all.