Not Broken

I'm out of the shower and sit down with my lotion bottle. Havilah climbs up beside me. "Too," she says. So I put a tiny dab of lotion on her hands. 

"Like this," I say. Rubbing the lotion on my hands together. "Now the cheeks." She rubs her little cheeks vigorously. "Neck." I say. She follows. We continue the routine until she remembers that Daddy and Jube are in the next room playing a game on Daddy's cell phone. As she runs out the door I ask her, "Did you get your feet?" 

"Yeah," she says. 

It's our girl time. I didn't realize that the fun would start so soon.

Havilah's down for her nap. Jube gets Mom to himself. He likes this. "Jube, we need to do some school work." He sits down with me at the table and we learn about the soft and hard g and c. Refresher for the mom. It's matching, it's easy, it's fun. From there we practice knowing the difference between a d and a b. It's fun until we get the the last three letters to write. Then it's suddenly hard. We finish the page and then sit down on the rocking chair to practice some simple reading. 

When that's done he says,"Now I want write my own words," So he writes three words and then lapses into drawing a picture of a fisherman on a boat catching a squid. 

We hang a load of laundry together. 

"Would you like a pbj for lunch?" I ask. "Yes, I love pbjs," he says. He also loves cookies with frosting and sprinkles. 

"You can go outside now and play with water. It's warm enough." He brings me a piece of paper. I'm to make a boat for him to float in water. "It won't last long you know. But you can try it." I tell him. 

"Okay Mom, I'll get out of your hair now," he says as he goes out the door. "You weren't in my hair," I tell him, "You're mine, and I love you." 

I am very deeply happy. Happy that, as far as I know, I will be able to have more children. More blue eyes and golden hair. I'm happy that I'm not broken. Something felt very twisted and ugly about being broken that way. I'm so thankful that that is cleared up.